WONDER WOMAN Review

Wonder Woman (2017) 
A Review By Ben Hunter
1.5/5 Stars

GET TO THE POINT BEN!

Chalk up another failure for the DCEU, and my departure from the bandwagon.

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Conundrum … a dilema. 

Welcome to a mystery. An enigma, inhabited by The Amazons themselves of myth. Enslaved by Hercules and in effort to escape the tyranny of ancient Greece, the decision was reached to commence the bewilderment of men. For only the amazonian incumbents, a female species in nature, were to ever set foot upon this place. No mere mortal would ever know its existence, or to grasp the full knowledge that Gods are fully amongst us. 

Welcome … to Themyscira (“the-mascara”). 

Welcome to Paradise!

Where the finest of beauty perambulate. Welcome to paradise, an actual name in other renditions of detective comics, where strength and elegance go hand and hand. Paradise that administrate supremacy and the delicate natures of femininity are one and the same. Emboldening those who know the tale to rise to the occasion for they too … are wonderful!
The spoils of war, wreak its soiled tentacles. But a virtuous man within such war, the war to end all wars, crash lands on Themyscira. Diana (Gal Gadot), princess to Queen Hippolyta (Connie Nielsen) witnesses such and rescues the U.S. pilot, Steve Trevor (Chris Pine), who warns the Amazons of the war to end all wars and the power of the Nazi Regime. Frightened and enraged of the chaos of man, The Amazons know this can have a devastating affect. But against the wishes of the powers of the great Hera, most dearly her mother, Diana leaves the sacred island with Steve to fight The Axis Powers, those that of the opposition to America, in hopes it’ll lead to the obliteration of the disguised god of war, Ares … the true enemy behind such soiled tentacles. 

Gal Gadot as Diana Prince/Wonder Woman

So reluctantly, Hippolyta, knowing of the secret escape of her daughter and officer Trevor eager to get his newly found information to his superiors before The Amazons halted his plans, let’s go of her hold on the wills of her precious goddess child, crafted from the sands of Themyscira and her tear drops. Having not told her daughter the entire truth of her existence and the full potential of her nature, for this would surely be used to her complete and fatal destruction when faced upon Ares, she painfully bids her farewell. Dawning her blessings on the famous warrior armor we all know and love that Diana stole with a battle crown as the finishing touch. For the supremacy of Themyscira, rooted in its mythical nature, can never allow Diana to return. Away she parts from the only life she’s ever known. Away she voyages, to battle, to fight for the greater good, even if it means permanent compromise of her comfort and destiny. 

Only the beginning … of justice! 

Okay, now, take all of that and apply it to the animated, 2009 version this adventure with Rosario Dawson as the title character. For that was way closer to the essence of Wonder Woman than this 4th installment in the DC Extended Universe. Consider me done and officially off the bandwagon. No more apologetics for people to give DC a chance to get their feet moving. No more holding out on hope, to wait for that much anticipated spark, because I just KNOW it’s coming. No more no more no more! YOU’VE SCREWED UP FOUR TIMES NOW DC and I’m done waiting around for you guys to get your act together! 

I was the biggest cheerleader for Gal Gadot when her casting announcement first came around. She was attacked because of her size and mocked for her similarities to other female warriors. I defended her, told people to give her a chance and that I totally supported Warner Bros.’ decision to cast her. As apart of the unnecessary mess that clogged up Batman vs. Superman: Dawn of Justice (BvS), Wonder Woman was over used to “thoroughly” set up the Justice League with its setbacks and complications of its own set to debut this fall. Nonetheless, she didn’t have to carry that story and Gadot’s true acting ability went unnoticed. There were way more much prevalent faults with that story that we were too hurt to notice anything else. But now, this is her story. She has to carry this story. She is the face of this story. Her acting will have to save this story (her misplaced weapons that she somehow still cradles certainly won’t help her). From her facial reactions to grief or misunderstanding, to her interactions with those close to her character’s heart, it became abundantly clear: Gal Gadot can’t act. Or at least act really well. This made me mentally revisit her performance in BvS. Yup, this scene, that scene, this look, that reaction, such as the “death” reaction, she needs acting lessons. Chris Pine as the veteran actor can only do so much to aid her along the scenes. But the big feminist push to get this movie going will scorn and torment me as a sexist for this

Chris Pine as Officer Steve Trevor

You know how Superman has Lois Lane? That’s his ride or die chick. The one who has his heart and can pierce through his armored skin with fines and meekness. Or how Batman is torn between Selina Kyle and Talia Al Guhl? Or how Spider-Man has Mary Jane? THAT’S what Steve Trevor is to Wonder Woman. He’s her ride or die. In some stories he only referred to her as “Angel”, the angel who saved his life when he crash landed into paradise. And to go along with the surface level writing of this story, you’d think he was just another guy she dated in today’s hook-up culture. You’d never know he was her FIRST. Their bond only goes skin deep. And with mediocre writing like shallow jeopardy, poorly crafted characters you care nothing about, no woven and grounded storyline with that tear jerking arc that brings it all full circle in the end, feeling complete, to truly concern us with this world that most people don’t know of quite well or at all with its intricacies; but these “charismatic” and “lovable” characters like the villain so “perfectly” prevalent all throughout causing us to fear if our hero can pull it off … a couple friends of mine walked out halfway through. Not even a likable, veteran actor such as Chris Pine can pull through with bad writing as such. I didn’t care about anyone. Not a single one of them. But I guess we’re all supposed to be happy a woman is finally getting her own superhero take, because, “it’s about time” right?
No one will talk or care about any of this in 3 years. We’re still talking about The Dark Knight and Iron Man, both debuted in the summer of 2008. The character of Wonder Woman will live on forever, but that 2017 rendition that we were all so happy “broke through for women”, that a woman directed, and starring a woman? That’s probably all that will survive because if you dare say anything else you’re against the progression. After the disasters of Catwoman and Elektra, etc., anything REMOTELY halfway decent that comes along is going to get worshipped and over-praised. For if you dare yet again to say anything is significantly wrong with this, you’re a sexist. Out for the oppression of women and apart of that evil patriarchy that holds secret meetings on Tuesdays to cipher how they can further oppress the ovaries (a solid A on Rotten Tomatoes!) 

Who cares what the meager CG, the poorly blocked action sequences that once again were amazingly marketed in the trailer says? Or if there’s a significant start/end to a fight sequence that is only surface deep and will be forgotten come time for the next attention grabber. It’s a shame this was all capitulated in one of the biggest names in superhero history, turning her first big screen experience into a glorified Lifetime movie. Wonder Woman is easily in the top ten of the most popular and greatest superheroes EVER. You wouldn’t know that from solely critiquing this film on its own merits, which is how you should judge all movies. 

From DC’s behavior, you’d think they simply just don’t care anymore. As if they gave it all they had at the beginning of the formation of the DCEU, and now, 15 films in, they’ve lost steam and sight of their origins. 

Nope!

We’re only 4 films in. So yeah, “it’s early right? Things could totally get better because they haven’t really done anything yet. Come on now.” Yeah, I’ve told myself that time and time again. And yet again, here we are, “oh there’s always the next one”. 

Wonder Woman (2017) 
Action/Adventure, 141 Minutes, PG-13
Story By: Zack Snyder & Allan Heinberg, and Jason Fuchs
Screenplay By: Allan Heinberg
Directed By: Patty Jenkins
Cast: Gal Gadot, Chris Pine, Connie Nielsen, Danny Huston, & Robin Wright

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