G.I. Joe: Rise of Cobra (2009)

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
A Review by Ben Hunter
½ Out of 5 Stars
August 7, 2009

I apologize to the exec's that I know at Paramount for what I'm about to say.

It's a nice popcorn action flick, no thinking involved, a fun experience to enjoy with the entire family. The relationships between Duke and Rip, Duke and Ana, Duke and Rex, Rip and Shauna (I imdb'd most of these names) were cute and "oh yeah that makes sense" kind of a feeling. The good aspect of the film that it had going for itself. Hmmm let's see, I think that's it. Oh yeah, the million dollar suits chase scene had a good concept and was edited and worked to an advantage.

Okay, besides the fact that entire cast from "The Mummy" wanted to break out of one franchise into another (I mean seriously, Brendon Fraser getting a 5 second appearance and then that's it for the rest of the movie was the cherry on top), I said, there was a written story line to show me that there was depth and connection with the characters. However, I felt disconnected COMPLETELY! My head always perks up when a filmmaker goes against the grain and the norm when they put an interracial couple in the story. But something was missing amongst all these bad boy, scoring in the top percentile, highest level of combat and class soldiers, there was no heart connecting everyone together.

I think Channing Tatum wasn't ready to lead an "all star" cast yet. I didn't buy that he was a soldier at first, it had to wear on me after awhile. It seemed like he was just reading lines in the beginning, didn't believe that he was a soldier. What was believable was the hate and the love he felt for Ana. I think he was maybe too soft spoken to be the leader that takes charge. Or if the filmmakers were going for that soft spoken leader aspect, it wasn't executed and relayed properly to me. He's like a new comer when it comes to big dollars spent on big budget summer blockbuster movies. Chris Pine succeeded tremendously in this aspect, but I think Channing needs more work, and fell on his face in this one. Marlon Wayans was there to pick him up at times though with his good comic relief, which was another surviving good aspect of the film.

Computer Graphics ... my oh my. It felt like I was watching a video game! I mean, I can spot CG from a mile away, tremendously good or bad. However, In Wolverine the question was, "did you finish rendering yet?", here it was, "did you swipe the video games' files by accident?" I laughed out loud so many times because I said, "they really can't be serious?" That and the flashbacks!!!

My gosh, talk about a feeling of amateur! I'm pretty sure Stephen Sommers has the work ethic to back up the legitimacy of directing this picture. But come on, too many flashbacks is filmmaking 101. Find another way to reveal this information. Everyone's waiting for me in the car and I'm still in the house finishing up getting ready. So I run out, "Okay I'm coming ... oh wait I forgot to put on deodorant!" so I run back in the house, then come running out again, ... "oh wait I forgot to put on a belt!" in and then out, "oh wait I should've showered!" ... "oh wait, my pants!" ... "oh wait, my underwear!!" Too many set backs when we all just want to get there already!

The "clever" ending and revealing of a character, the predictable action, the "ensemble cast" filled with B and C list actors from old blockbusters, just wasn't enough to cover the poor job overall. I wouldn't recommend. I'd say wait until it comes out on DVD ... if you get a free movie through your membership and business with your video rental service. "For renting all this time with us you get a free movie today!"